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	<title>The Vitamin Press &#187; Not Really the News</title>
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		<title>Rocket Fuel Found in US Water Supply</title>
		<link>http://thevitaminpress.com/2012/03/02/rocket-fuel-found-in-us-water-supply/</link>
		<comments>http://thevitaminpress.com/2012/03/02/rocket-fuel-found-in-us-water-supply/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 02 Mar 2012 07:00:12 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Kip Hooker</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Not Really the News]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thevitaminpress.com/?p=3343</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Berkely- Reaserches at Carnegie Mellon University, in Berkley California, have released the results from a new and rather disturbing study. According to their findings almost all of the United State&#8217;s water supply has been contaminated with major chemicals often used in creating rocket fuels. The report went on to conclude that this problem is so [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
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		<title>Kid Jailed for &#8220;Bomb Threat&#8221; in Bathroom</title>
		<link>http://thevitaminpress.com/2012/02/27/kid-jailed-for-bomb-threat-in-bathroom/</link>
		<comments>http://thevitaminpress.com/2012/02/27/kid-jailed-for-bomb-threat-in-bathroom/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 27 Feb 2012 07:00:08 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Kip Hooker</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Not Really the News]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thevitaminpress.com/?p=3332</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Uvula, La- Local authorities have arrested a juvenile in connection to a possible bomb threat occuring late yesterday afternoon at the Greater Uvula County YWCA and Recreational Center.  According to police reports eight year old Gary Pate was in the men&#8217;s restroom when the threat was created.  Master Pate has confessed to writing the note.  [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>3</slash:comments>
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		<title>Major Breakthrough in Male Birthcontrol Pill</title>
		<link>http://thevitaminpress.com/2012/02/17/3315/</link>
		<comments>http://thevitaminpress.com/2012/02/17/3315/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 17 Feb 2012 07:00:20 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Kip Hooker</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Not Really the News]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thevitaminpress.com/?p=3315</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[GENEVA, NEW YORK- Scientists at Hobo University in upstate New York are reporting a major breakthrough in the field of human contraception that is at least as important as any preceding it and will very likely spawn a second sexual revolution. According to these scientists the college has developed a male birth control pill. Clinical [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
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		<title>Shock:  Existence of Gingrich Love Child Confirmed!</title>
		<link>http://thevitaminpress.com/2012/02/04/shock-existence-of-gingrich-love-child-confirmed/</link>
		<comments>http://thevitaminpress.com/2012/02/04/shock-existence-of-gingrich-love-child-confirmed/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 04 Feb 2012 07:00:26 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Kip Hooker</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Not Really the News]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thevitaminpress.com/?p=3294</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[SCRANTON, PENNSYLVANIA- Incessant rumors that Presidential hopeful Newt Gingrich sired a love child back in the early 1970’s have now been confirmed. The child was the product of a private evening between –then student- Gingrich and local cocktail waitress Meredith Palmer. The secret was kept until recently when the now adult child came forward to [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<title>Mitt Romney in Serious Condition After Tragic Tanning Pill Overdose</title>
		<link>http://thevitaminpress.com/2012/02/02/mitt-romney-in-serious-condition-after-tragic-tanning-pill-overdose-2/</link>
		<comments>http://thevitaminpress.com/2012/02/02/mitt-romney-in-serious-condition-after-tragic-tanning-pill-overdose-2/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 02 Feb 2012 07:00:19 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Kip Hooker</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Not Really the News]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thevitaminpress.com/?p=3281</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[A worried nation can breathe a collective sigh of relief this morning as doctors for former Minnesota governor, and once and future presidential candidate, Mitt Romney have downgraded the photogenic politician&#8217;s condition from critical to merely serious. Romney (who has been a patient at the Pershing General Medical Center for three days now after having [...]]]></description>
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		<title>Apple Foils Samsung Defense</title>
		<link>http://thevitaminpress.com/2012/01/27/apple-foils-samsung-defense/</link>
		<comments>http://thevitaminpress.com/2012/01/27/apple-foils-samsung-defense/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 27 Jan 2012 15:36:11 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Kip Hooker</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Not Really the News]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thevitaminpress.com/?p=3244</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Silicone Peaks, CA- Attorneys for Apple confounded the courtroom today with a stunning legal maneuver that undermines Samsung&#8217;s entire defense in the ongoing battle over mobile computing devices. According to the lawsuit, brought about by Apple, Samsung violated numerous patents and copyrights when they developed and marketed their own tablet computer early last year. Amongst [...]]]></description>
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		<title>Perry Drops Out, Texans Dissapointed</title>
		<link>http://thevitaminpress.com/2012/01/20/perry-drops-out-texans-dissapointed/</link>
		<comments>http://thevitaminpress.com/2012/01/20/perry-drops-out-texans-dissapointed/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 20 Jan 2012 15:49:34 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Kip Hooker</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Not Really the News]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thevitaminpress.com/?p=3248</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Dallas- Residents all across the great state of Texas are loudly registering their disappointment in Governor Rick Perry&#8217;s decision to terminate his run for the Presidency. For many in the Lone Star State it had been hoped that a successful bid would have meant finally getting rid of the guy. And the citizens could go [...]]]></description>
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		<title>Panic Grips World as Gregorian Calender Set to Runout At Midnight!</title>
		<link>http://thevitaminpress.com/2011/12/31/panic-grips-world-as-gregorian-calender-set-to-runout-at-midnight/</link>
		<comments>http://thevitaminpress.com/2011/12/31/panic-grips-world-as-gregorian-calender-set-to-runout-at-midnight/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 31 Dec 2011 07:21:34 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Kip Hooker</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Not Really the News]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thevitaminpress.com/?p=3170</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Panic gripped the world today as scientists made the shocking announcement that the calender is about to run out. According to the dire new claim an error was made in the planning of the Gregorian device most commonly used for marking dates. Due to this mistake the calender expires after 52 weeks, or roughly 365 [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
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		<title>New York Town to Start Charging In-mates for Jail Stays</title>
		<link>http://thevitaminpress.com/2011/11/25/new-york-town-to-start-charging-in-mates-for-jail-stays/</link>
		<comments>http://thevitaminpress.com/2011/11/25/new-york-town-to-start-charging-in-mates-for-jail-stays/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 25 Nov 2011 07:00:55 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Kip Hooker</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Not Really the News]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thevitaminpress.com/?p=3115</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Geneva NY- Given concerns over decreased revenues flowing into municipalities many cities around the country have had to become increasingly creative in their responses to the new economic realities. Perhaps none more so than the sleepy upstate New York town of Geneva. In the past two years incoming taxes have plummeted by thirty percent. Initial [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
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		<title>Reality Takes Bite Out of Occupy Swamp Protest</title>
		<link>http://thevitaminpress.com/2011/11/21/reality-takes-bite-out-of-occupy-swamp-protest/</link>
		<comments>http://thevitaminpress.com/2011/11/21/reality-takes-bite-out-of-occupy-swamp-protest/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 21 Nov 2011 07:00:47 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Kip Hooker</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Not Really the News]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thevitaminpress.com/?p=3109</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Okefenokee- Several members of the occupy the swamp movement have been hospitalized after an unfortunate encounter with local wildlife. The group descended upon the area last week with the intention of, according to their website, &#8220;educating and liberating the oppressed amphibian and reptiles that make up 99 percent of the area but only maintain 1 [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
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