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	<title>The Vitamin Press &#187; Not Really the News</title>
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		<title>Shock:  Existence of Gingrich Love Child Confirmed!</title>
		<link>http://thevitaminpress.com/2012/02/04/shock-existence-of-gingrich-love-child-confirmed/</link>
		<comments>http://thevitaminpress.com/2012/02/04/shock-existence-of-gingrich-love-child-confirmed/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 04 Feb 2012 07:00:26 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Kip Hooker</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Not Really the News]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thevitaminpress.com/?p=3294</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[SCRANTON, PENNSYLVANIA- Incessant rumors that Presidential hopeful Newt Gingrich sired a love child back in the early 1970’s have now been confirmed. The child was the product of a private evening between –then student- Gingrich and local cocktail waitress Meredith Palmer. The secret was kept until recently when the now adult child came forward to [...]]]></description>
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		<title>Mitt Romney in Serious Condition After Tragic Tanning Pill Overdose</title>
		<link>http://thevitaminpress.com/2012/02/02/mitt-romney-in-serious-condition-after-tragic-tanning-pill-overdose-2/</link>
		<comments>http://thevitaminpress.com/2012/02/02/mitt-romney-in-serious-condition-after-tragic-tanning-pill-overdose-2/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 02 Feb 2012 07:00:19 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Kip Hooker</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Not Really the News]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thevitaminpress.com/?p=3281</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[A worried nation can breathe a collective sigh of relief this morning as doctors for former Minnesota governor, and once and future presidential candidate, Mitt Romney have downgraded the photogenic politician&#8217;s condition from critical to merely serious. Romney (who has been a patient at the Pershing General Medical Center for three days now after having [...]]]></description>
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		<title>Apple Foils Samsung Defense</title>
		<link>http://thevitaminpress.com/2012/01/27/apple-foils-samsung-defense/</link>
		<comments>http://thevitaminpress.com/2012/01/27/apple-foils-samsung-defense/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 27 Jan 2012 15:36:11 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Kip Hooker</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Not Really the News]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thevitaminpress.com/?p=3244</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Silicone Peaks, CA- Attorneys for Apple confounded the courtroom today with a stunning legal maneuver that undermines Samsung&#8217;s entire defense in the ongoing battle over mobile computing devices. According to the lawsuit, brought about by Apple, Samsung violated numerous patents and copyrights when they developed and marketed their own tablet computer early last year. Amongst [...]]]></description>
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		<title>Perry Drops Out, Texans Dissapointed</title>
		<link>http://thevitaminpress.com/2012/01/20/perry-drops-out-texans-dissapointed/</link>
		<comments>http://thevitaminpress.com/2012/01/20/perry-drops-out-texans-dissapointed/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 20 Jan 2012 15:49:34 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Kip Hooker</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Not Really the News]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thevitaminpress.com/?p=3248</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Dallas- Residents all across the great state of Texas are loudly registering their disappointment in Governor Rick Perry&#8217;s decision to terminate his run for the Presidency. For many in the Lone Star State it had been hoped that a successful bid would have meant finally getting rid of the guy. And the citizens could go [...]]]></description>
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		<title>Panic Grips World as Gregorian Calender Set to Runout At Midnight!</title>
		<link>http://thevitaminpress.com/2011/12/31/panic-grips-world-as-gregorian-calender-set-to-runout-at-midnight/</link>
		<comments>http://thevitaminpress.com/2011/12/31/panic-grips-world-as-gregorian-calender-set-to-runout-at-midnight/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 31 Dec 2011 07:21:34 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Kip Hooker</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Not Really the News]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thevitaminpress.com/?p=3170</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Panic gripped the world today as scientists made the shocking announcement that the calender is about to run out. According to the dire new claim an error was made in the planning of the Gregorian device most commonly used for marking dates. Due to this mistake the calender expires after 52 weeks, or roughly 365 [...]]]></description>
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		<title>New York Town to Start Charging In-mates for Jail Stays</title>
		<link>http://thevitaminpress.com/2011/11/25/new-york-town-to-start-charging-in-mates-for-jail-stays/</link>
		<comments>http://thevitaminpress.com/2011/11/25/new-york-town-to-start-charging-in-mates-for-jail-stays/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 25 Nov 2011 07:00:55 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Kip Hooker</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Not Really the News]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thevitaminpress.com/?p=3115</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Geneva NY- Given concerns over decreased revenues flowing into municipalities many cities around the country have had to become increasingly creative in their responses to the new economic realities. Perhaps none more so than the sleepy upstate New York town of Geneva. In the past two years incoming taxes have plummeted by thirty percent. Initial [...]]]></description>
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		<title>Reality Takes Bite Out of Occupy Swamp Protest</title>
		<link>http://thevitaminpress.com/2011/11/21/reality-takes-bite-out-of-occupy-swamp-protest/</link>
		<comments>http://thevitaminpress.com/2011/11/21/reality-takes-bite-out-of-occupy-swamp-protest/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 21 Nov 2011 07:00:47 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Kip Hooker</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Not Really the News]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thevitaminpress.com/?p=3109</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Okefenokee- Several members of the occupy the swamp movement have been hospitalized after an unfortunate encounter with local wildlife. The group descended upon the area last week with the intention of, according to their website, &#8220;educating and liberating the oppressed amphibian and reptiles that make up 99 percent of the area but only maintain 1 [...]]]></description>
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		<title>Beiber Implicated in Child Paternity Scandal</title>
		<link>http://thevitaminpress.com/2011/11/18/beiber-implicated-in-child-paternity-scandal/</link>
		<comments>http://thevitaminpress.com/2011/11/18/beiber-implicated-in-child-paternity-scandal/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 18 Nov 2011 07:00:46 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Kip Hooker</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Made Up Celebrity Gossip]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Not Really the News]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thevitaminpress.com/?p=3101</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Hollywood- Lawyers for child superstar Jason Beiber have announced that the singer -and partial human being- will submit to a DNA test to prove that he is not the father of the 7th child of &#8220;John and Kate Plus 8&#8243; fame. As celebrity Attorney and frequent The Vitamin Press contributor Uri Geller explained it to [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<title>Ole Miss Cans the Nutt</title>
		<link>http://thevitaminpress.com/2011/11/14/ole-miss-cans-the-nutt/</link>
		<comments>http://thevitaminpress.com/2011/11/14/ole-miss-cans-the-nutt/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 14 Nov 2011 07:00:50 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Kip Hooker</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Not Really the News]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thevitaminpress.com/?p=3091</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Oxford, MS- Old Miss football coach Buster Nutt is out and athletic director Pat Boone will step down by December of 2012, Chancellor Davy Jones announced today. Nutt, who is making $27,000.00 this year, will coach the final game of this season — Saturday, Nov. 19 against Our Lady of Perpetual Abstinence&#8217;s high school football [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
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		<title>White House to Kids: All Your Candy Belongs to Us</title>
		<link>http://thevitaminpress.com/2011/10/30/white-house-to-kids-all-your-candy-belongs-to-us/</link>
		<comments>http://thevitaminpress.com/2011/10/30/white-house-to-kids-all-your-candy-belongs-to-us/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 30 Oct 2011 07:00:20 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Kip Hooker</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Not Really the News]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thevitaminpress.com/?p=2000</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Washington- Citing extreme executive privilege during a time of national economic crisis President Buraq Obama has issued a sovereign decree implementing a new federal code that will, for the first time ever, regulate the centuries old fall tradition of “trick or treating”.  This proclamation will -among other things- form a blue ribbon regulatory commission to [...]]]></description>
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