October 29, 2011 by Kip Hooker, Section: Not Really the News, Comments (0)
James Carville Upset Over “Illegal Alien” Costume
James Carville is leading a charge for retail locations in the United States to ban a controversial Halloween costume. The costume depicts an “illegal alien” carrying a super-sized green card in his hand while wearing an orange prison jumpsuit with the words “illegal alien” stenciled across the front. According to Carville the garb is “insensitive and offensive” to “hardworking humanoid life-forms just because they happen to be from another planet.” Carville also advised The Vitamin Press that this issue is extremely important to him because “both of my parents came from Uranus.”
E.T., head of the Society Humanely Integrating Alien Travelers, is seconding the opinons and actions of Carville. The lovable alien, made famous in the 1988 Stephen Speilberg Blockbuster Mac & Me, took his case to the streets and led a protest of 25 sympathizers in front of Neiman Macros -one of the stores that is still selling the item. Curious onlookers looked onto the protest. Most offered words of encouragement by shouting out “phone home” and “klatuu barada nikto” as they passed by. Unfortunately for the extra-terrestrial the speaking of the latter phrase had the unintended effect of prematurely shutting down the giant space robot he was holding in reserve; to be unleashed on the store in the event that they ultimately refused to capitulate to his demands.
Not all aliens are opposed to the costume. Gordon Sumner, also known as Sting and the star of the 1980′s hit reality television show A.L.F., has come out in support of retailers offering the costume. “When I came to this planet I had nothing. You took me in and I starred in a T.V. show that poked fun of me just as it poked fun of my human host family. It was all in good fun and worked because nobody was afraid to explore our differences as well as our universal similarities. Besides nobody here is railing against all of the “alien” costumes that have been out there for decades or the “human” ones for that matter. So as someone who is a citizen of this country I feel that those fellows over at S.H.I.A.T. are full of it.”

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