June 22, 2011 by Kip Hooker, Section: Not Really the News, Comments (4)

Obama Hopes Weiner Will Bounce Back

Hollywood- Taking a break from his usual hectic schedule of golfing, partying, going to concerts and taking vacations the President stopped off in Hollywood on Tuesday night long enough to make it by the DuMont Studios and check in with America’s favorite late night talk show host Dean Faux.

Faux, host of the wildly popular late night program The Faux Late Show, took nearly half an hour interviewing President Buraq Obama before special musical guests Coldplay performed a tribute for the once popular Commander in Chief and announced plans to hold a series of concerts in support of the Libyan War for European oil.

Amongst items addressed by Obama was the often sticky topic of disgraced former Congressman Anthony Weiner.  Obama expressed empathy for the constant figure of public ridicule and further claimed that the guy should have a future somewhere in the realm of politics.  “Look what you got to do is realize that a lot of people think Weiner is spent.  That Weiner has run out of juice.  Or that Weiner has lost all control.  I call BS on a lot of that nonsense.  What you got to remember is that I won an election back in November of 2008.  What you’ve also got to remember is that I won a Grammy Award, an Emmy, A Tony and an Academy award.  I was one popular mofo.  Now, well not even Michael Grimm will return my phone calls . . . and his fifteen minutes of fame was up a whole half hour ago.  But that is the nature of the thing.  Sometimes your in.  Sometimes your out.  Weiner’s got to learn to go with the motions.  Weiner’s got to learn the age old trick of mastering the in and out.”

Undaunted by producers concerns that the Weiner segment was running long Obama continued.

“I’m the President here alright.  You can go to commercials when I’m done.  Besides my economic policies have been so bad that nobody has any money to spend on your advertisers products anyway.  Now where was I  . . . ah yes I was just touching on Weiner.  Alright Weiner is in a harry place no doubt.  But this is the big time.  If Weiner wants to play with the big boys he’s gonna puff himself back up and get reinserted into the game.  Otherwise Weiner might as well just be playing with himself.”

“This is a real teachable moment here and what you’ve got to understand is that I spend a lot of time on the golf coarse and I see this sort of thing all the time.  And just like the golf champion if Weiner wants to go in for the win he’s just gonna have to keep stroking until he puts it in the whole. ”

After showing Weiner some love Obama took his bows and left the stage to partial applause.

4 Comments

  1. Wally Green

    June 22, 2011 @ 11:54 am

    Are you tired of having to work your ass off all day and then come home and watch the tv tube only to find the guy that has been taking all your money and your bitches is on there making weiner jokes! You gotta get your ass to Walgreens. At Walgreens we got Dont Be Stupid Cream. You can rub it all over your stupid face. You can rub it all over your freinds stupid faces. Walgreens . . . we ain’t got no douche bags here!

  2. Joe,

    June 22, 2011 @ 12:01 pm

    Weiner has been the gift that keeps on giving.

  3. LA Sunset

    June 22, 2011 @ 4:48 pm

    Hell, according to the reports, he hasn’t even left yet. Staff is still working like nothing ever happened.

    Not sure this will qualify as a “bounce back”. He at least needs to clean his desk out first.

  4. Anthony's Weiner

    June 26, 2011 @ 3:03 pm

    This website is defaming my character!

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