August 23, 2010 by Kip Hooker, Section: Not Really the News, Comments (0)
Exclusive interview with one of those mysterious alien creatures from Avatar
After a year that must be counted up there with the best that James Cameron has ever had the world famous director of the fifteen-billion-dollar-grossing twelve-time-academy-award-winning sprawling space odyssey sci-fi opera world wide phenomenon known as Avatar is recieving some heavy criticism from, what would seem to be, the unlikeliest of quarters … those blue people from his movie. I recently spoke to one of the blues in reference to this highly charged issue – via a subspace intergallactic video link ( yes there’s an app for that)- and a portion of our conversation has been transcribed and presented below:
The Vitamin Press: Welcome oh wise and mysterious Blue Man from the exo-moon of Pandora. Greetings from the Earth. Thank you for momentarilly shunning your much superior simplistic life that functions so very properly and admirably sans the burden of technology and the dehumanizing effect of industrialization. How are you receiving my transmission?
Mysterious Blue Alien Man: Alright . . . first of all we are going to have to cut that out right now. Even without the benefit of my 1080p/120hrtz/6ms universal translator I can tell that you’re being condescending. Maybe you think it is cute. Maybe you think your being enlightened and gracious. But what you’re really being is rude. So, would you care to try that again.
The Vitamin Press: I apologize most sincerely my friend from across the galaxy. You must forgive my crude and coarse method of dialogue. I am but a slave to the conditioning of a life sustained through the burden of technology and the dehuminizing effect of industrialization. I falter in the magnifisence of your more natural and wholesome life parameters.
Mysterious Blue Alien Man: You know this is exactly why I didn’t do Oprah or Larry King. And honestly I expected more from The Vitamin Press. I’ve been reading you guys’ publication since your American Civil War . . . and never in those years have I ever observed such a disgusting display. And I am pretty curious to know why you have started such with this interview.
The Vitamin Press: I’m sorry. I know . . . I know I’m being pretty rediculous. But I was such a fan of Avatar . . . I’m a bit . . . well star-struck if you’ll forgive the pun.
Mysterious Blue Alien Man: I wasn’t in the movie Avatar.
The Vitamin Press: Yes but it had a . . .
Mysterious Blue Alien Man: It had a what?
The Vitamin Press: Ah well . . . you know.
Mysterious Blue Alien Man: No I don’t know.
The Vitamin Press: It had a, well, it had a . . .
Mysterious Blue Alien Man: A blue man? It had a blue man in it, is that what you were going to say?
The Vitamin Press: Well, yes.
Mysterious BLue Alien Man: Uhgh I give up. This interview
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