Wife kills husband over ma’s internet connection

Susie Q. Homemaker, a petitle woman of 26 years from BraSwell, GA, confessed to killing her husband James Homemaker, 28.

Susie and James had been married for five years since James saved Susie’s life by waking her up. James and Susie dated for many years without telling Susie’s ma. “The wedding was amazing,” remembers Susie, “we danced all night and James sang this song to me about how much he loved me… it was magic.”

After the two married, Susie and James lived with Susie’s ma where they shared a small home. The couple had been planning on moving out of Susie’s mother’s home because James accepted a new job as a Data Analyst in a college nearby. However, their move did not come soon enough.

Susie recalls that James had came home from work one day and was “running his mouth about momma’s Internet connection. James said that he had faster speeds at work, and at ma’s we only had DSL.”

This caused a fight to break out between her husband and herself when she had had enough. “I wrapped that there intranet cable around himself until he not breathing no more.” When we asked Mrs. Homemaker if she had any regrets, she woefully explained that she had accidentally pulled a plug off one of the ends of her only network cable while murdering her husband. “I ain’t been on facebook in days, so my fish are probably all dead. On top of that, my crops were ready to harvest, and now they’ll just sit there and go away!”