New Orleans Saints Win Their First World Cup

The New Orleans Saints Football team has been trying to make it to the world championship for over 50 years, but had, until this season, come up short time and time again. Earlier today, chants of  ”Who Dat” drowned out the infamous buzz of vuvuzelas while the “Who Dat Nation” annexed portions of South Africa as their star player, Ray Nagin, scored their winning goal.

Shortly thereafter, in New Orleans, the streets were crowded with  people dawning black and gold, celebrating wildly. The victory is one, not only for the team, but for the entire city whose population has been rooting tirelessly for a Saints victory for decades. While observing the victory celebration, an inebriated man who identified himself as Jimmy Green approached our reporter, sloppily singing, “Who Dat? Who Dat? Who Dat Say… Da Saints Gonna Win!”

In a post-game interview in front of the World Cup spectators, star player Ray Nagin, the self-appointed “vagina friendly” (former) mayor of New Orleans, seized the opportunity to address the plight of prostitutes in South Africa. “These working girls were promised an increase in business from the tremendous influx of tourists and spectators brought by the World Cup. However, this has simply not panned out, and these girls, many of whom have high medical bills for their HIV treatments, are really hurting!” Nagin stopped short of naming any specific prices or offering a menu, but many are offended by what they considered an inappropriate topic.

Critics have accused Nagin of trading his speaking opportunity for free or discounted services which will be of no benefit to fans, to New Orleans, or to the team. While lawsuits may soon await him in Louisiana, Nagin has expressed interest in staying on what he excitedly proclaimed as “the chocolate continent”. However, the prospect of the Saints losing their star player has done little to put a damper on the joyous citizens of New Orleans.