June 29, 2010 by Kip Hooker, Section: Not Really the News, Comments (32)
Coast Residents Disguise Themselves as Palestinians in Attempt to Gain White House Recognition, Assistance
Orange Beach, Ala- After seventy-some days of being ignored by the Obama Administration several residents of the Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama and Florida Gulf Coast’s have taken to some very desperate measures in an effort to bring their plight to the attention of the White House and -hopefully- secure some much needed help in avoiding the destruction of their homes livelihood and way of life. Among some of the more extreme of these measures has been a group of person’s along those states who have started disguising themselves as Palestinians in an effort to gain not only the attention of the White House but also some much needed aid.
The Vitamin Press recently spoke with one of the charter member’s of this movement. Orange Beach resident Austin Fark’s had the following to say. “Well you know I just was sorta watching the news channel and I noticed that President Buraq Heuissan Obama had decided to send 400 million dollars over to those Palestinians in Israel but he just could not be bothered to send any money or aid or material support to the people along the Gulf Coast. It was then that I remembered how much Obama loved people running despotic regimes -so much so that he regularly bows to them- and how much he despises people in this country and Jews so I just took to the notion that maybe if I just dressed up like one of those folks in the middle east then maybe I could get some attention and help too.” When asked about what steps he has taken to fool the government into thinking that there is a large Palestinian region on the coast that needed the government’s assistance Fark’s continued. “Well first we started dressing the part. You know wearing scarves on our heads and we stopped shaving and kept the bath robes on all day. Then we started ratcheting it up a bit. I now carry around a sign that says “I hate Jews” and I chant it too occasionally and every now and again I throw a brick through the window of a local synagogue or make it up to Chicago so I can attend a service at Obama’s old “church”. Some people have started talking about getting a bit more extreme and strapping fake dynamite to their chests and mock blowing up a discotheque, but you know I don’t go in for any of that, and my group is vehemently opposed to all violence even if it is only simulated.”
Bill
June 30, 2010 @ 8:58 pm
Who do you have to kill to get some government assistance around here?!?!
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July 1, 2010 @ 7:57 pm
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