Greece to Sell Parthenon

Athens- Officials of the cash strapped government of Greece made an announcement today that in these times of paramount disadvantage and unprecedented tribulations the debt ridden nation has made the unusual decision to sell the Parthenon.  Making this decision all the more unusual is the fact that the Parthenon has never been for sale before and was only rented out once back in the late 1960′s when Woody Allen visited the area for a period of four days.  Mr. Allen eventually realized that going geek had a rather different meaning than he’d been led to believe and he broke his lease on the property while fleeing prosecution.  The incident left the Grecian Government rather indisposed to attempt anything similar with the property again.

Rumors are abounding -however- that the decision announced today is not proactive on the part of the Greek State and may have been precipitated, indeed made absolutely necessary, by the fact that they are about to default on their loan and that the ancient historical could very well go into foreclosure in the very near future.  A man living in close proximity to the famous structure, and speaking to The Vitamin Press on the condition of extreme anonymity, agreed with this theory and noted the following, “Oh yeah I wouldn’t at all be surprised if those guys were about to default on their mortgage.  I saw it happen all the time, some guy would show up in a utility truck or some such wanting to shut down the water or the electricity and then this fellow dressed up in a toga with a PBR in one  hand and a cardboard lightening bolt in the other would stride out, claim to be Zuess, kick the side of the Fiat Cinquecento up on cinder blocks in the yard, try the Jedi Mind trick on the utility employee, offer to wrestle him, offer him a gold chain, offer him his own constellation and eventually write him out a check on a stone tablet and begrudgingly hand it over.  If I saw it once I saw it a million times.”