December 10, 2009 by Kip Hooker, Section: Not Really the News, Comments (9)
For Professional Golfer Tiger Woods, 18 Holes Just Not Enough
Orlando Calrisian, Fla- In a heartfelt plea to the PGA’s board of directors this morning golfing superstar Tiger Woods requested that the number of holes he competed on during any given tournament be increased from 18 to 36. An impassioned Woods argued to the organizational members that the possibility of taking on so many more strokes than the other participating golfers all but guaranteed them at least a shot at gaining the victories for themselves. According to Woods this possibility was a worthy goal and that he would be only to happy to sacrifice for it.
Note: At this very moment the forces of global totalitarianism are on the ascendancy and seeking to control every aspect of your life, liberty, property and labor through the canard of climate change and a naturally occurring compound that you have exhaled dozens of times since you started reading this. So it is good to know that during these times of paramount consequence we haven’t lost sight of what really matters and can expend so much time and energy on keeping up with the all the stories of a billionaire who sometimes has sex with people that aren’t his supermodel wife.
Whacker Chracker
December 10, 2009 @ 12:47 pm
I believe Mr. Woods will be calling a mulligan on several of the holes. I also think over the next 3 days of play he may have to call atleast 8 more mulligans but not sure yet. Just ask the gentlemen that he works out with, I think they play well together.
Whacka Muh Cracka
Android Lloyd Webber
December 12, 2009 @ 7:05 am
Eh . . . Tiger is a dirtbag no doubt, but yeah more time is devoted to this story than should be. I want to hear more in the MSM about the fake data they’ve been using to sell us on this global warming nonsense.
Red Spot on Jupiter
December 12, 2009 @ 8:00 am
Obviously Tiger thought that Elin Nordegren, unlike his Gillette razer, was not the best a man can get.
Robert the Bruce
December 12, 2009 @ 2:14 pm
Now that Tag has dumped him I say he should try and get a sponsorship from Timex. Tiger, he takes a lickin’ and keeps on . . .
Pharmacy Teckie
December 14, 2009 @ 8:17 am
Thanks for posting this. Surely this will make me a better Pharmacy Tech fellow. Again thank you.
Long John Silver
December 14, 2009 @ 5:16 pm
Q: Why did Tiger Woods wear two pairs of pants on golf day?
A: In case he got a whole in one!
Sarah Lee
December 14, 2009 @ 7:20 pm
You guys are up to the shenanegans. Always with the shananegans. The internet is not for shenaneghans! You have made all this up. I don’t believe any of it. I’m calling up Tiger Woods and telling him you are spreading viscious lies about him. I’m calling John Edwards! You better get a taxi cab ’cause they are going to take away your license to broadcast these foul lies all across the internet web. I am for real!
Slappy Pendragon
December 15, 2009 @ 9:18 am
I hear he used to play through all night. They called him double bogey because it took him so many strokes to get his ball in the hole.
biblioteka
December 26, 2009 @ 5:57 pm
I want to quote your post in my blog. It can?
And you et an account on Twitter?