Obama Attempts to Free Himself from Teleprompter, Becomes GW Bush

State-of-the-Art Commodore computer similar to those used to drive Obama's famed teleprompters.

Chicago - Barack Obama got egg on his face today during a speech in front of the Chicago Commodore Enthusiasts’ Club. Following ten months of criticism stemming from his apparant reliance on his teleprompter, Mr. Obama decided he’d had enough. Contrary to the advice of his advisors, Mr. Obama decided to “unplug” by not using a teleprompter during today’s internationally significant speech.

Moments after the teleprompters were disabled, Obama’s expression turned to one showcasing how impressed he was with his own slyness. Shortly after the speech began, it became abundantly obvious Mr. Obama’s advisors were correct to oppose unplugging the president. During most of the speech, Obama ranted about a variety of topics. However, towards the end, it seemed, he decided to address two of the most pressing issues facing Americans today: the economy and the swine flu pandemic.

“People think I don’t know, but I do know that one of the base ingredients in mayonaise is the egg. Many Americans in this country have severe egg alergies, and if it wasn’t bad enough that swine flu shots they need contain egg, now we are all finding ourselves in this economic mayonaise.”

After a performance, the likes of which hadn’t been seen since before January, the Commodore enthusiasts were merciful, if not dumbfounded, and asked no questions. Instead, directly following the speech, a dead silence filled the room as the audience filed out the doors calmly. A White House spokesperson contacted The Vitamin Press this evening, assuring us that the president had indeed been plugged in once again. “The American people can’t afford to have a president who acts like this. We won’t set him free from the teleprompter again until after he loses the 2012 election and the next president is inaugurated.”