Mary Landrieu: Dreams Really Do Come True!

Washington, DC- Coming out of an unrelated conference committee yesterday it could not help but be noticed that Senator Mary Landrieu (D. La) had tears in her eyes.  When questioned as to the genesis of such an unusual display (for a United States Senator) Landrieu broke down and confessed that Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid had, earlier that very day, made her greatest dream come true.  Not content with such a cryptic response several among the throng of curious reporters shouted out requests for further clarification on the mystery.  A, still, visibly emotional Landrieu invested in a moments pause before relating the following story:  “Being a Senator was never my first ambition in life.  It is a wonderful and honorable profession, some would even say a calling, but all the same and for me it has always been a reminder that I’ve had to settle.  A reminder that I would never be able achieve the one thing that I’d always longed for.”  She invested in another pause.  The return was even greater than before.  “You see when I was a much younger person I happened to watch the the movie “The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas”.  From that moment on it was settled for me.  I knew what I wanted to be, I knew what I wanted to do with my life.  I was going to be a prostitute.  And I guess my story is like so many out there.  Just like the starry eyed kid he dreams of becoming an astronaut, or a baseball player, or a ballerina or a warrior princess and then you find out that life has other plans.  You find out one dismal, dreary rainy night down on Bourbon or Toulouse that nobody want’s to pay three dollars for your services and so you do the next best thing . . . you become a politician.  And don’t get me wrong, it has been a good life.  I have enjoyed every minute of it, but somewhere in the back of my mind I’m still just the little girl that never quite made it.  That is until today.”  The Senator granted a third pause and was in the process of transforming it into a smile when she was interrupted by an unidentified reporter who questioned whether this story had anything to do with the 100 million dollars Reid had just bought her health care vote with.  The smile blossomed and then retreated into a look of disdain.  “Uh that would be 300 million.  300 million dollars sir and you would do well to remember that.  And believe me sir,”  Landrieu then ran her arms up and down the length of her body as if she were showcasing this years model, “I am worth every inch of that pork.”  The crowd dispersed in silence and mutters.  Senator Landrieu herself continued onto pursuing her other business an it appeared that none of that fourth estate in attendance had the nerve to inform her that she wasn’t the first woman that Harry Reid has had to pay to get a “yes” out of.