President to Japan: “We Surrender!”

Tokyo- Sixty-three years after the dropping of atomic bombs on the Japanese cities of Hiroshima and Nagasaki President Boraq Obama is in the pacific island nation’s capital today conceding to the Emperor’s terms for a final, and unconditional, United States surrender to the land of the rising sun.  This stunning reversal of American policy in the region comes just months after Obama apologized to the Soviet Union for winning the cold war and less than a week after he chaired a United Nation’s special council designated to assess the feasibility of reconstructing the Berlin Wall.  This move is also considered to be stinging rebuke of the, some would say, overly nationalistic foreign policy of George W. Bush.  As White House Press Secretary Barry Gibbs explained it to The Vitamin Press, “Of course this is a strong comment on the uber-nationalism espoused by that previous administration.  It is also a bold promise that the country formerly known as  United States of America’s will never return to those ideals.  After all it is rather hard to be a nationalist when your nation, and its subjects, are the property of another country.”