George Clooney Awarded Nobel Prize for “Leatherheads”

Oslo- Famed American, and socially conscience Hollywood celebrity, George Randolph Clooney is to be awarded the Nobel Prize for literature at a celebration this Wednesday. The Committee of Nobel’s (C.O.N.)  granted this honor in appreciation of Clooney’s “commitment to advancing the art of the written word and presenting an unparalleled depiction of the human condition through uncompromising prose mosaics peppered with lyrical imagery and delicate wisps deftly characterizing humanity through both its triumphs and its barbarisms.”

Though this prize is issued upon consideration for an artist’s entire body of work the committeemen were especially impressed with Clooney’s screenplay for the movie “Leatherheads”.  Committee Czar Franklin Mint Dextroselysergicaciddiathelemide further clarified the group position to The Vitamin Press “What Clooney succeeded in doing here is creating a work of remarkable substance in which the glories of the first world war are extolled and celebrated while all along he was understatedly creating a conflict between the major antagonist/protagonist dynamic that could only be resolved by a government official directing the actions of private citizens and exerting the power of the state to censor equally private news organizations.  What we can learn from Clooney is not only the terms and conditions by which engaging in unprovoked wars and home-front fascism is laudable but also that such acts can be pretty darn hilarious!”

Representatives for Clooney are reporting that the star is honored and humbled by this award.  It is also being reported that he plans on spending the 1.4 million dollars in prize money on half of the operating costs his Gulfstream jet will require to make the trip from California to Norway and back again.