Archive For October 2009
White House to Kids: All Your Candy Are Belong to Us!
October 31, 2009 by Kip Hooker, Section: Not Really the News, Comments (4)
Washington- Citing extreme executive privilege during a time of national economic crisis President Boraq Obama has issued a sovereign decree implementing a new federal code that will, for the […]
Lindsay Graham Undergoes Personality Transplant, Survives
October 29, 2009 by Kip Hooker, Section: Not Really the News, Comments (8)
Charlston, SC- Doctors in South Carolina are reporting that all has gone well with Lindsay Graham’s recent surgery and that the long time Democrat Senator is resting comfortably and expected […]
Our Exclusive Interview with Chris Martin of Cold Play
October 26, 2009 by Kip Hooker, Section: Not Really the News, Comments (5)
Sometime over a year ago The Vitamin Press issued the following review for the -then- new Coldplay album Viva la Velveeta: There is nothing particularly wrong with this album. That […]
James Carville Upset Over “Illegal Alien” Costume
October 20, 2009 by Kip Hooker, Section: Not Really the News, Comments (6)
James Carville is leading a charge for retail locations in the United States to ban a controversial Halloween costume. The costume depicts an “illegal alien” carrying a super-sized green […]
Community Leaders Oppose Sharpton’s Bid to Buy Kosher Deli
October 14, 2009 by Kip Hooker, Section: Not Really the News, Comments (6)
Uvula, New York- Jewish community elders are rallying against The Reverend Al Sharpton’s bid to buy the Baer Market Deli on the corner of S.Exchange Street and Broad in beautiful […]
THE SLIGHTLY MORE ALL POWERFUL LABOR UNIONS
October 13, 2009 by Kip Hooker, Section: Political Commentary, Comments (5)
It is well known throughout the public school houses and roadside massage parlors of this great America that within any business, or grossly similar entity, there will be found a […]
George Clooney Awarded Nobel Prize for “Leatherheads”
October 11, 2009 by Kip Hooker, Section: Not Really the News, Comments (3)
Oslo- Famed American, and socially conscience Hollywood celebrity, George Randolph Clooney is to be awarded the Nobel Prize for literature at a celebration this Wednesday. The Committee of Nobel’s (C.O.N.) […]
Erlich Wins Nobel Prize for “Population Bomb” Theory
October 7, 2009 by Kip Hooker, Section: Not Really the News, Comments (2)
Oslo, Norway- An American, Paul Erlich of The Stanford Butterfly Collector’s Club, was awarded the 2009 Nobel prize for his book positing the inevitability of a “population bomb” in his […]
President Sues Brazil Over Illegal Use of Phrase “Yes We Can”
October 2, 2009 by Kip Hooker, Section: Not Really the News, Comments (6)
Washington- Lawyers for President Obama have issued papers to the government of Brazil demanding that all representatives of that tiny island nation refrain from any further use of the phrase […]
President Relishes Role as Chicago’s Top Lobbyist
October 1, 2009 by Kip Hooker, Section: Not Really the News, Comments (3)
After having fixed the economy, won the war on man-made disasters, brought the troops home from Afghanistan and Iraq, kept the Iranians from developing atomic weapons, convinced the North […]