White House: Economy is Racist

Is institutional racism working to the detriment of the Obama administration?  It’s a question that has been bubbling just beneath the surface of polite political discourse for months now.  It is a question that was suddenly cast into the fore when, earlier this week, it became widely known that a sinister – and racist – employee of a D.C. Burger King conspired to ruin President Obama’s lunch by serving him a junior double whopper dressed with two pickles instead of the customary three… and then refused to allow him to substitute certified organic Tuscan kale for the onion rings included in his extra value meal.  This unconscionable act of vile hatred prompted an outcry from outraged citizens and the deep concern of many politicians.  Calls for a government takeover of the fast food industry have been issued from political voices as disparate as Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi.  Even Jimmy Carter took a respite from his job as Hugo Chaves’ thong to condemn America and call for the destruction of Israel.

At an afternoon presser, White House Press Secretary Barry Gibbs clarified the administration’s position on the issue.  “Well of course it is racism.  Let us just take a look at a few of the facts shall we? Unemployment is on the rise, the GDP is contracting, the value of the dollar is slipping and likely to go into freefall, the trade deficit just increased by sixteen percent, and the U.S. Credit rating has dropped.  You take any of these things on their own and you could maybe argue that it was just coincidence that it was happening to an African-American President.  But you put it all together, and I think the facts speak pretty loudly for themselves; this President is the victim of an economy that is clearly and demonstrably racist.”