Archive For July 2009
Sneak Attack On Hawaii
July 9, 2009 by Kip Hooker, Section: Not Really the News, Comments (2)
Honolulu- Reports are coming in from Hawaii that a missile launched from parts unknown, possibly North Korea, has landed on the Island of Honolulu and destroyed a room in the […]
3 Doors Down/Away From The Sun
by Kip Hooker, Section: Album Reviews, Comments (0)
Faceless rockers avoiding the sophomore slump by releasing a second album just as awful as their first.
Joss Stone/The Soul Sessions
by Kip Hooker, Section: Album Reviews, Comments (0)
Familiar vanilla soul/pop from the likeliest of suspects.
Team of Agents from FCC and ATF Comb Wilderness to Assure Frontiersmen and Hillbillies Outside World Still Exists
July 7, 2009 by Walt Jameson, Section: Not Really the News, Comments (1)
The Boonies- Hillbillies and frontiersmen living in remote areas were alarmed on June 13 when they could receive no stations on their televisions. Many unearthed arsenals of weapons they had […]
Shock: Social Security Numbers No Longer Secure
July 6, 2009 by Walt Jameson, Section: Not Really the News, Comments (3)
Pittsburgh, PA- Researchers at Carnegie Mellon University have released their results from groundbreaking research definitively proving that the 9-digit social security numbers assigned to Americans are not secure. Although a […]
Our Exclusive Almost Interview with Dick Cheney
by Kip Hooker, Section: Not Really the News, Comments (0)
A DIFFERENT SECRET LOCATION- The Vitamin Press recently caught up with former Vice President Dick Cheney and spoke with him about how his time out of office has been. Cheney […]
Breaking News: Sarah Palin Confesses to Being Six Flags “Mr. Six”
by Walt Jameson, Section: Not Really the News, Comments (1)
Breaking News: The Vitamin Press has been investigating for two years the secret identity of the old, dancing man on the Six Flags Theme Park commercials widely known as “Mr. […]
VP Biden: We Misunderestimated the Economy
by Kip Hooker, Section: Not Really the News, Comments (0)
SECRET UNKNOWN LOCATION- Speaking on what he called the “condition of an anemone,” Vice President of the United States Josef Biden confided to a number girl scouts, who were selling […]
Michelle To Bring Glamour To Moscow
by Kip Hooker, Section: Not Really the News, Comments (1)
MOSCOW- Fashion icon and first lady of the world Michelle Obama will be giving some of her super awesome glamour to the citizens of Moscow this weekend. The occasion to give […]