Off the Road

Hollywood- Trouble again found the already harried movie adaptation of the Jack Kerouac masterpiece On the Road.  Vitamin Press insiders have learned that only hours ago director Joel Schumacher was dismissed from the project after creative differences arose between him and the executive production team of Francis Fordlandia Coppola and Ashton Kutchner. These differences were unresolvable and, again according to our sources, stemmed from Schumacher’s decision to place rubber nipples on the characters of Sal Paradise and Dean Moriarty.  Further complicating the matters was Schumacher’s refusal to use Imani Coppolas for the soundtrack to the movies numerous extreme sports sequences -as the producers had strongly desired.  In Schumacher’s words “I just feel that she is not right for the mood, tone or feel of this project.  To me Lincoln Park is the only band in the world -right now- capable of expressing the theme and artistic purity that Heinlein was trying to capture in his book.”

There has been no official word on a replacement for Schumacher, but rumor has it that teen heart-throb/High School Muzakal  star Zack Eprom and that chick who wrote Lost in Translation are being strongly considered.