President Pursues Endless War in Iraq and Afghanistan To Lend Relevance To [Unidentified Family Member's] Political Statement

Teaching a civics lesson to your children can be a harried experience, especially if you’re the President of the United States. The world has moved beyond the tedious, and, lets face it, boring musings and ponderous ponderings of its so called “Founding Fathers.”  Patrick Henry muttering “Give me liberty or give me death,” loses much of its majesty, as well as our reverence, when held against such elegant refrains as idk bff 2 wong foo wtf omg lmnop bootysweat, or the ever insightful, as well as delightful,  I don’t think you’re ready for this jelly. Paul Revere’s famous ride across the countryside seems a little quaint and a lot corny to kids that, every day, face down hoards of alien robot zombies on the outlying planets of distant galaxies with only their wits and their Xboxes to make the difference between total victory and total reality.  And who could be bothered taking a look at the Constitution, The Declaration of Independence, or The Federalist Papers when someone has just leaked an advanced copy of the new Twilight book onto the internets?