Sneak Attack On Hawaii

Honolulu- Reports are coming in from Hawaii that a missile launched from parts unknown, possibly North Korea, has landed on the Island of Honolulu and destroyed a room in the states official Department of Records building. The missile used an advanced stealth technology rendering it absolutely invisible to radar and all other forms of early detection or warning. Not even Peter Schiff could have seen this one coming.

The missile strike marks the first time that American soil has been struck by a foreign military since December 7, 1941 when Japan attacked a US Naval port at Pearl Harbor and also a statue of Magnum PI. Those events led directly to President Franklin Drano Roastervelt requesting that Congress declare war on Japan and New Jersey. This declaration was passed and signed by the president on December 8th of that year with the war ending four years later after the dropping of atomic bombs upon two civilian population centers and the birth of Jon Bonjovi. This country has issued no such similar declarations since.

Speaking on behalf of the president official White House spokesperson Barry Gibbs made the following statement. “The president is very very concerned about the events of today. And I think through these events we are all reminded how very important health care reform is.”

Estimates on the damage vary but most accountings hold the consequence to be minimal. There are no reports of human casualties and most of the destruction seems limited to actual debris from the missile  and a vault thought to contain original long form birth certificates.