Government Balances Needs of Economy Against Realities of Global Warming


by Kip Hooker, Section: Not Really the News

Washington- With news that the state of the economy is far more dire than the administration could have known, President Obama is urging congress to consider a second recovery plan every bit as massive as the first one – and as early as next month. According to the administration, this bold action is absolutely necessary to “continue and advance the good work that the first round of stimulus should start accomplishing any day now.”

Everybody in the world is absolutely convinced that the president is correct, and there is no dissent on his larger view of the economics involved. However, there are some concerns that this push for more recovery aid will force a neglecting of environmental issues that have so recently been championed by Obama. Pine Sagebrush of Greensleeves International further expounds upon this opinion. ”Everybody in the world is absolutely convinced that the president is correct and there is no dissent on his larger view of the economics involved, but there are some concerns that this push for more recovery aid will force a neglecting of environmental issues that have so recently been championed by Obama.”

Others in the know, most notably Nobel prize winning economist and host of CNBC’s Mad Monet, Jim Cramer, respectfully disagree with this assessment. ”Who is this Sagebrush clown? Well, whoever he is, he’s an idiot. Obama just pushed historic legislation through the house aimed at reducing the amount of green house gasses released into the environment … Does this Sagebrush jerk think that he’s just going to throw a success like that away? He can do both. He will do both; he’s going to save the planet and the economy all at the same time. My advice . . . sell Greensleeves International …SELL SELL SELL!”. He then rang a bell and threw crumpled up pictures of water lillies at us.

White House Press Secretary Barry Gibbs shared Cramer’s view, if not his theatrical flair. “Look, you can have increased stimulations while managing to control your emissions. Sting does it all the time.”

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